This is without cute pictures. I am making this more of an entry on thoughts... I am in a weird place right now. I want to be content with where I am in life but I'm not entirely there. I love my daughter and love being home with her but I get hopeful that I make more of it- like be more fun with her and still be able to accomplish regular tasks (laundry, cleaning, cooking, running errands all over the place). I feel bad sometimes that I "jip" her of the best of what I can offer and just be a fun and playful mom but I don't want everything around me to fall apart either.
I also want to advance in some projects and reading. I don't know how people do it all but I certainly am not. Things are pretty good for the most part- Hyrum has a reliable job, a full load of classes so he can get done quicker, I get to stay home and be my baby's caretaker and a homemaker- what more could I need?
I guess I feel guilty for wanting more sometimes.
3 comments:
Oh Em...how I feel the same as you sometimes! Just know that your not alone, and I love ya!
I think in some other language, 'mother' must translate into the word 'guilt'
I love being a mom, but I always feel like I should do it better, or like the moms around me make it look so easy!
My mom told me the other day how being a mother of her toddler girls was the most fun she ever had, but was pretty lonely, too, because they really are your whole world for a few years. It made me feel better.
I love you, and I think your family is AMAZING :D
Don't feel guilty for wanting more sometimes. Being a mother/homemaker is a full-time job, with the least recognition. Your kids are the only ones who give you any credit. Yet, we are busier than anyone else on earth if you ask me. We don't even get to go to the bathroom in peace, or at least I don't. Everyone else makes motherhood look easy, but they are probably not telling the truth... or their kids sleep better than ours :) I feel just like you sometimes- I want to do projects, have time to read, etc. But boy oh boy, it's soooo hard just to keep the house clean some days. I hate ignoring the boys to clean, because it makes especially Jaren sad sometimes. I bought him his toy kitchen so he can cook while I cook and clean. It has worked wonders. Some days are easier than others. But I know you are such a wonderful mother and wife. When you have a rough day, just pray, and the Lord really does comfort you. You already chose to obey the Lord, and raise your daughter yourself. On a day when the house is messy and you feel overwhelmed, just ignore the mess and play with Livvy. She doesn't care if the house is messy.
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