I decided to do the concentrated version of potty-training. I've asked a bunch of mommies about their experiences and came to the conclusion that all kids are different. SOO, not knowing how to go about training Livvy, I just had to dive in. I got the Potty Train your Child in One Day and read it last week. Since then I have been buying things and preparing to do it this weekend.It has been serious hell. I had a dolly that I used to pretend pee in her potty and had accidents in her "big-girl pants". I didn't get the wetting doll but just used a medicine syringe to push liquid through to the potty. I used prunes and turned them inside out to look messy and put them in her pants too. I used a sponge to wet the potty pants and we discovered her pants were wet. Livvy didn't really care about feeling for the pants as much as running to the bathroom to let the dolly practice sitting on the potty and "exercise her memory muscles". Livvy was really good about doing this with the dolly and very animated. It helped that I did nothing else except play with her and try to keep her animated. I was so TIRED. Exhausted, really. I went to bed at 1:30 the night before and Ella woke up at 4:30 and 6:30, etc. For anyone who is going to do this type of thing- get some good sleep before!
After Livvy's nap she got to start using her own big-kid pants and start practicing using the potty. She went pee right away and then went in the potty every 30 minutes or 1 hour. She was doing great and getting all type of rewards and encouragement. BUT she was fighting a bit too. She didn't want to sit down on her potty and try. Livvy has a crazy temper sometimes (typical 2 year old?) Today has been like that too. Most of the day we've been battling her getting on the potty. I can get her in the bathroom but she doesn't want to sit. We've done treats, stickers, cute potty pants, other presents and celebrations. I don't want to push her since it will just make her resist more but I don't want to go backwards either and have her wear pull-ups all day. I can consider that she maybe isn't ready but now that I've started it doesn't seem right to start back with diapers. Where do I go from here?? I don't expect anyone to read this, much less write a comment. But if someone actually does read this, feel free to share something. Just think of me going crazy in potty-training chaos.
6 comments:
I think, like you said, all kids are different, and it sounds like Livvy is definitely communicating that she's not a Potty-Train-in-One-Day type of gal (which is just fine). She's already debunked the one-day method (at least as a viable option that will be effective for her own potty training experience) as she's clearly not ready to wear panties full-time after today's intense potty training course (it is supposed to do the magic trick in just one day, right? Maybe I don't fully understand the method.) I know you had to put A LOT of work into today, and that's frustrating, but I would seriously suggest letting the potty training go for a while.
You said that you don't want to "go backwards," but I think that you may not have a choice. Olivia is probably going to do all that she can to put the brakes on until she's good and ready, you can either fight her and you will likely both be miserable, or go along for the ride because ultimately, her bowel/urinary functions are a couple of the very few things that she has complete control over(and it's something you, as her parent, are NOT ABLE take control of). You better bet she's going to explore how to use that control to her best advantage. Physically, she will work to perfect this kind of control, which is good, because, obviously, she needs to understand her body's mechanics so she can have the proper control to wait to get to the toilet before letting go. But if she feels pressured to learn to use the potty, she could quickly learn that she can gain psychological/emotional control through her potty training antics, and she could become quite effective at counteracting your efforts. In my opinion, this is a bigger step backwards, than her wearing diapers for a few more months until she seems more interested in using her potty.
I would still keep her potty out in plain sight, and offer for her to sit on it if she shows any interest in it even if its just once a day before bath-time or something. If our experience is at all common, I'm willing to bet that she will practice for awhile (many wet/poopy diapers, mixed with a few successes at the toilet) and slowly transition to full toilet training. I am ashamed to admit that I wasn't very good at being upbeat and patient with Clara a lot of the time she was toilet training because she wasn't "figuring it out" in the time frame that I thought was reasonable (ie quickly), I wish I was better at having a neutral reaction during the times that she missed getting to the toilet because, really, she was just a baby trying to learn a major
life-skill and it's not an easy one to master. This is a time of great transition for Livvy, and learning to use the potty is a universal rite of passage to move beyond babyhood...this is one of her first leaps away from you towards her own independence. Try to respect her timing, and enjoy (as much as you can) the way that she is at this moment (diapers and all), because there's no going back.
So, my comment was apparently too long to publish...so I'm breaking it up into two parts (take that Blogger!)
Now for the joys of a potty trained child: it's not all its cracked up to be. Believe me, when you are in Target and you have a baby (if you're really lucky, it's at least a happy baby) sitting in a cart full of merchandise, then your child frantically tells you they have to go the the bathroom "right now!", it's not a happy moment. I mean, you have to find the bathroom in record time, find a suitable place to park your cart full of stuff, fling the diaper bag/purse over one shoulder, get the baby on a hip and then guide your toddler into the jaws of the filthy, germy hell known as a public bathroom. Lets just say that juggling everything in your arms, plus trying to help a toddler get on/off the toilet, bottom wiped, hands washed etc. etc. etc. it is a miserable production, and often has me missing the days when she could just let it loose in her pants and I could clean it up later, in a semi-sanitary manner.
Or there's the times when they have misses right in the middle of everything (no bathroom in sight, no clean up sink and water, no toilet paper or paper towels, NO PRIVACY etc.). Clara's peed her pants at a couple of stores, and that's always joyous to explain to the shopkeepers (who are always somewhat disgusted that there's a puddle of pee on the floor of their workplace) so you can get cleaning supplies to wipe up the mess. Once the pee is cleaned up, there's still the issue of no pants/underwear/shoes. Each time that happened, I ended up buying a new clothes for Clara on the spot--ridiculous (but I was so glad that I was in clothing stores both times so I had the option!) Oh, yeah, and where do you put the sopping pee clothes until you get out of the store? And what about your urine tainted hands--another desperate search for a mall bathroom.
All I'm saying, is that potty training isn't all its cracked up to be, so don't rush Livvy along on your own account...because its just as complicated having a potty trained child as one in diapers...just in different ways.
One last thought for this epoch comment. (I may have already told you this, forgive me if I have, but I think it's interesting).
I visit-taught a nurse who worked closely with the urologists at the urology clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital. She gave me some good insights when Clara was potty training, especially since she worked with children everyday who had urinary/bladder issues, some of which resulted from potty training issues. She said that it's pretty common for kids (especially little girls) to hold their urine and not go to the toilet (often they don't want to stop playing etc. so they just hold it). Over time their bladders stretch out and they end up with "big floppy bladders"...some times this problem can resolve with time, but some kids' bladders require surgical repair. Also, this same nurse told me that many potty trainers are admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation (I'm assuming they hold in their bowel movements...I'm not really clear on this, but she definitely said that it as a potty training issue to be aware of). So, anyhow, when I was talking about what I thought was a slow potty training process that we were having with Clara, this woman asked how old Clara was, (just barely three) and she assured me that she was on the early end of the healthy potty training age range and gave me the same advice that I'm passing on to you--"Don't worry about it, don't push her. She's totally normal and it will happen when she's ready."
Good luck! I hope this helps and isn't just annoying information/advice. Hugs!
The want to start Mitt because he is showing signs of wanting to be potty trained but part of me doesn't want to start because it is exhausting even though Kyla was basically potty trainned in a week, that doesn't mean there weren't occasional embarrassing accidents in stores or other places. So it is normal to feel the way you do but before you know it, it will be over and you won't even remember how energy draining it really was. Hang in there!
I love the comments. I think I want to print them out and read through them for when I start this whole thing over. I'm actually not really desperate to get Liv out of diapers. I was just thinking that she was ready it- Little did I know!
Since writting my post I have decided to put her back in diapers, leave the potty out and talk more about it but not push her at all. Things feel so much better around here. She can't learn while she's feeling so stressed out. We were ALL stressed out. So, I'm going to wait till she's more ready. We'll just see how it goes.
Good comments. I'm glad you decided to wait. The method I did with Bryndi was the "No cry potty training solution". It basically says to wait until both you and her are ready and then start, but with no pressure. She gets a sticker chart. She gets to wear panties when she has gone in the potty 5 times (has 5 stickers on the chart) and after that when accidents come it's a no big deal oops, lets clean it up kind of thing. I did however have her wear pullups for a few more weeks whenever we went to the store. I wanted to avoid the situations Taryn was talking about and luckily (cross my fingers) I've never had a pee in the store moment yet!
I'm glad that Allison mentioned using pull-ups at the stores, because that reminds me...they are not on par, absorbency-wise with regular diapers. I'm pretty sure that one of our in-store puddle-creating- moments involved an overflowing pull-up. I KNOW that we had a good number of leaking pull-ups at less critical/embarrassing moments (ie around the house). I'd still totally use pull-ups because for a nearly-potty trained child, it's a lot easier to pull up/down the pants when using the toilet than trying to use a diaper, plus you still have a mini diaper-esque insurance plan built into the pull-ups, in case of accidents...but I just wanted to warn you that sometimes their absorption capacity can be overwhelmed by a full-bladder's worth of urine.
One more bit of possibly helpful info: we used Huggies brand most, and tried the Target store brand once or twice.
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